First, this professor is a highly esteemed, older gentleman known to be a really “cool” instructor. His specialty lies in Modern Literature, and he has a perchance for the Beat writers. He sits on the table cross-legged while he lectures.  Despite his age, he relates well to students, and in return, students adore him. I had him as an instructor years ago and can attest that he is funny, captivating, and brilliant. I loved him.

So this professor, before he came storming into my office, had been teaching an upper-division Modern Literature class. As he explained–disheveled and distraught–he was introducing the novel the class was about to begin reading: To The Lighthouse. To his utter dismay not one student in his 30 person class had ever heard of Virginia Woolf. He asked if they had seen (at this point he assumed that they probably had not read) The Hours. “You know,” he said, “the movie with Nicole Kidman? She won an Oscar for her performance.”

Blank stares. He asked if anyone had heard of the play Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Blank stares.

He was besides himself. How could not one of these students not even know who Virginia Woolf was, surely one of the greatest female writers of all time? He blamed Katy Perry. He stomped around my office. Then he blamed Gwen Stefani.

Leslie and I sympathized with him. We too grew upset over the state of our school system. Why aren’t kids reading Woolf in school? But mostly, we just let him vent.

I said, “Well, think of the power you have now. Now you get to introduced them to the greatest woman writer ever. You can change their whole lives!”

He looked at me. Turned around and walked out of my office. As he left, he said, “Bye. I’m going to go kill myself now.”

And that is how you piss off a literature professor.

But, his anger is warranted. These days–and I see it with my own kids–reading is replaced with video games, TV, phones, computers. How sad.

So, as a reminder of the beauty of books, I found this video (it’s gone viral so it’s not like I actually *found* it):

Because he buys himself an expensive, fancy shower head and when it’s too big for his shower, he doesn’t return it, but instead comes and installs it in mine:

Because when I ask to borrow his ax to cut my Christmas tree, he doesn’t just lend it to me, but comes over and cuts the tree for me:

Because when I got rid of my TV a few months ago and decided I wanted my living room to be more suited for conversation than just static entertainment, I asked Andy to help me redecorate. But then the holidays came and decorations went up. But once the decorations came down, I stared at my living room and thought “blah.” I started moving furniture around and purchased a new chair and a lamp, but then I got stuck. Fortunately, Andy came over and with his creative eye, he got straight to work: moving paintings, candles, books. Voila: I now have an amazingly comfy living room, which I’m now calling the “parlor.”

I love Andy for many more reasons that the kindness he bestows on my family. His ease of conversation, his constant comfort, his keen advice always: he’s a treasured friend. I’m so thankful for him.

And I won’t share him. Sorry.

Thankfully, it passed. And before school started, I had a fantastic break with the kids.

Maddie won our local AYSO U14 final game, coming in first place and then came in 3rd place in regionals.

She had such an amazing team of girls. They all got along so well.

Her coach, Coach K, was amazing: by far the best coach we’ve ever had. In any sport. Hands down.

Maddie played so well this season. Her coach guided her to become more aggressive, skilled, and overall, gave her the shot of confidence she needed.

I’m thankful that my best friend Jill, her husband Greg, and her son Gavin made the drive to see Maddie’s game. That’s true friendship.

My sister and her family also came. I’m thankful for how supportive they ALWAYS  are.

The kids and I also went to see my nephew Braden’s soft ball game. It was really cute. And some of these boys are so talented!

Maddie and I went to see my niece Cate’s very first ballet recital. It was so damn cute, I wanted to capture the moment forever. All of us cheered her on.

On a sunny yet chilly day, I took the kids down to the beach with Baily, our dog, to walk along the pier and play in the sand.

Then we went to the barn to buy some fresh produce and walked among the sunflowers.

Luke and I had a date and went apple picking. Even though the season is over and were few apples left, we still enjoyed the experience.

I spent hours making flower bobby pins and magnets for Maddie’s school to sell for their annual Christmas Boutique.

Luke and I had one of many coffee dates while Maddie was out busy with her friends.

The Luke got sick and even though I hate to see him ill, I love how cuddly and loving he is.

As a treat for our family, Milo, our cat, brought home a mouse.

That was still alive! I tried my best to save it (him? her?), but alas, Milo had the final say and the mouse died.

In many ways our vacation seemed too brief, but then it also seemed incredibly long at the same time, which is probably why I was ready to get back to work. But I’m thankful for the quality time I had with my kids.

I’m also thankful that I had a fun New Year’s Eve without the kids. I was with my sister and a bunch of friends at a local restaurant, and I had so much fun, I didn’t even take pictures, except for this one which a friend sent me (and it’s not even that good, but at least it kind of shows how much fun everyone is having).

I really believe 2012 is going to be a GREAT year with much to look forward to.

My only New Year’s resolution is to be more conscious of what I’m thankful for. I think not writing everyday has made me less conscious, which I don’t like. I also resolved to tell people–in person–that I’m thankful for them. Even if they hear it multiple times from me, I’m going to be much more vocal this year.

Finally, on New Year’s Eve my friend Devin, who had recently broken up with her boyfriend of 4 years, introduced me to her new boyfriend. He was so handsome and nice and I told Devin this. She responded by saying:

“That’s because I’m great and I deserve great things, and so look: I got someone GREAT!”

I love it. Devin is a humble person–no ego at all. But she knows she’s great and she has a wonderful and healthy confidence.

So I’m also stealing Devin’s saying and making it my own for 2012:

“I’m great and I deserve GREAT things”

This Christmas was great. Luke finally understood the concept of Santa (though Maddie no longer believes), and it was delightful to see the joy and excitement in his anticipation. Christmas is the holiday that I love; all the others, well, I wouldn’t be that upset if they all disappeared. But Christmas, how I love it. I love decorating and listening to carols, and eating cookies, and buying presents. It just seems like everyone is in a better mood.

So, we took to the holidays this year by buying the biggest tree we would find (well, the biggest tree that would fit in our house). Luke and Maddie had to agree to which tree to buy, and surprisingly, they did so in a matter of minutes.

Maddie and I hauled that huge tree into our house and it stood perfectly straight–a Christmas miracle! The we got decorating.

We ended the decorating festivities with a nice dinner and hot cocoa for all.

Now that it felt like Christmas in our house, we watched as Christmas fever spread throughout our town, starting with attending Luke’s daycare’s snow day.

It was so much fun. Luke made snowballs, went sledding, and sat on Santa’s lap and didn’t cry. He told Santa what he wanted for Christmas as loud as he could: “CARS!”

So, on Christmas morning, the kids got up to see that Santa had eaten all the cookies we left (and made a mess!) and had brought Luke and Maddie exactly what they asked for.

After all the unwrapping and the chaos that lay among us, I asked what was their favorite gifts.

(Luke said his kitchen set from my mom and dad was his favorite)

(Maddie picked some books from her Aunt Jo and a Wii dance game from her dad).

Family, friends, food, gifts, and celebrating life is what the season is to me. My children–the anticipation, excitement, joy–is what I define as LOVE.

I’m only half-kidding. I don’t know if it was the fact that I just really got used to summer relaxing, but when fall quarter/semester hit, I just felt overwhelmed. I think I made my job more difficult on myself by using the wikis so much that I felt constantly behind.

But whatever, it’s over.

And it was down to the wire for me getting my grades in on time.

(The beginning stages: organizing into piles)

(Organized)

(Grading like a mad woman)

(Everything is graded. Now organizing into separate piles)

(Swear to God I had to use my entire office to do this)

I finished with a half hour to spare, but I felt like I had run a marathon. The only highlight of this grading marathon was when a student inserted this into his essay for me:

Yes, I am that dorky.

Because today was a great day. A spur of the moment day when I woke up and thought, “I want to do something really fun with the kids. An adventure.” I feel like we’ve been in the house a lot, caught up in the holidays and family and rushing around.  We all needed a change of scenery. We needed to slow down.

So, I decided to take the kids to Salmon Creek for a hike. I’ve passed by it every time I’ve gone to Big Sur and I’ve never made the hike, but today, it was 60 degrees, the sun was shining, and we didn’t have anything to do (except for cleaning the house and I did not want to do that). Maddie was grouchy at the prospect, Luke was kind of tired, but I had made up my mind: we were going.

We didn’t do the whole hike. Only to the waterfalls and then we lopped back around to go about half-way to Spruce Camp. I would have liked to have made it all the way to Spruce Camp, but it was such a steep climb and with Luke still on my back, it was getting too difficult.

But it was still gorgeous.

(The hike up.)

(The falls. Gorgeous.)

(Luke was so, so, so made I wouldn’t let him get naked and go play in the water.)

(Luke finally got off my back and walked a little bit by himself)

We then left, and we were all in a better mood. Maddie had stopped pouting, Luke had some energy, and I felt renewed.

We stopped a few times on the side of the road to take in Big Sur’s stunning views:

We also stopped to see the elephant seals.

It was a long day driving up the coast, but it was worth it. Getting my kids out and into nature: that makes me happy. They may not always be pleased, they may whine, they may pout. But once in the depths of nature, their faces change as they become almost enchanted with and by nature’s energy. There is a distinct change in them. Far away from distractions, we have nothing to do but observe the beauty of this earth: the flowers, the trees, the water rushing to the Pacific, the monstrous seals flapping sand over their bodies, winding roads, breath-taking scenery.

It’s not hyperbole when I say this is what keeps me feeling alive in spirit. I want to roll in the dirt and spread my arms against thick rock.I want to rest my head in the moss and whisper my problems to a rushing stream.

And I do, all of this. Because nature abounds. And absorbs all of me.

Oh the tween years (and really in a few months she’ll be an official teenager). I know I went through them. I know I was moody and an emotional wreck. I know surges of hormones took over every sane and rational part of my being.

But mostly all of my tween-angst was because my mom was so not cool.

And I am cool.

My mom didn’t take me to hip concerts as a child. My mom didn’t take me to museums or plays or art exhibits or anything that might have cultivated a sense of appreciation of the arts. I mean, sure I have it now but that’s only because I had to learn it on my own…and if there’s one thing I don’t want Maddie to do it’s to have to struggle to find out what’s hip and cool on her own like I did.

I knew from the day she came out of my precious womb, that I would gently guide her to liking everything I did. And as I looked at her sweet sleeping baby face, I knew–I mean I knew–that I wouldn’t even have to guide her: that she’d willingly want to like everything I liked.

Because, you know, I’m hip.

And cool.

But somewhere in the past year, my precious sweet daughter has gone from loving every concert, museum, art exhibit, author reading to absolutely despising whatever event we are at.

Last week, I took her to see some live music. And it was three all girl punk bands who were interesting and funny and quirky.

This is what she looked like throughout the show:

And I said, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you enjoying this? I’m letting you stay up late to see this. Listen to their lyrics: how empowering are they?”

To which she just rolled her eyes, turned away, and slumped in her chair.

(Notice the head slump action)

“Maddie. This is cool. You should be enjoying yourself. You’ve seen tons of live music and you’ve always loved it.”

“Well, I don’t love it now. I want to go home and go to bed,” she replied.

So we went home.

A few days later, I took her on another date: to a poetry reading.

This is what she looked like throughout the show:

“Maddie. Why are you pouting. This is art. Right now you’re cultivating your inner-self. You’re learning how to appreciate art.”

“Can I play a game on my ipod?”

“No. Pay attention. What other parent is doing this with their kids right now. Look around. Do you see any other kids here? No. How cool are you?”

“That’s my point, mom,” and the eyes roll.

“But that just makes you cooler. Plus, we’re seeing Leslie and another colleague of mine, Lisa.”

“Aren’t they amazing Maddie? The strength of their words?”

“Um, I guess. Can we go home now?”

“Please take a picture with me so I can blog about how much fun we’re having…”

“Fine mom, I can fake it.”

Then we went home.

And I sat Maddie down and told her how much I love her and how much I love spending time with her and how when she was little (up until even a year ago) how much she enjoyed doing things with me, how she was always up for an adventure.

And I explained that I didn’t have a fun mom and that I understand how her hormones are coursing through her body and that she can’t help to be moody, but really, I asked, “Can you just try to enjoy your time with me cause, you know, the things we do are so cool. You are so lucky to have such.a.cool.mom.”

Eyes roll. Head slump.

“Mom! That’s what you’re NOT understanding. You are not cool. At all. Nothing you do is cool.”

Um. What the fuck?

I’m sure that’s just the hormones talking.

Because I’m overloaded with grading. The good thing, however, is that I still enjoy my job, even if I complain about the workload. Another good thing is that with my spare time I go sit at my favorite coffee shop and grade, which makes the reading seem easier. I almost always run into my good friends and colleagues, so we grade together. Okay, really we bitch about our grading. But still.

My usual spot.

How can Jenny be grading with a glass of wine? Me thinks it makes for better grades.

Truly, Andy and I work hard.

In between all the grading and reading, I have had a few opportunities to get out and see some music and friends.

I went to the Jade Festival in Big Sur with my friend Greg:

Perfect Big Sur weather. Perfect crowd.

Greg getting food.

Greg’s dog Jack gets more attention than any dog I’ve ever known. He’s super friendly.

We bumped into my friend Tim who lives in San Francisco. Such a treat to see him.

That’s a HUGE piece of jade.

It was a joy to  celebrate my good friend and colleague and old office-mate Erin’s 40th birthday:

40 never looked so good.

I saw the Mother Hips play in town with some good friends.:

Paul, one of the friends in our group, got a comped booth. Nice!

Paul and Julie are so much fun. And a little crazy. But in a good way.

We had fun.

I also had the chance to go to our town’s Art after Dark. I met up with friends, had some beer, and checked out some amazing art. I especially liked the university’s student furniture show–such talented students we have!

I loved this. I wanted to buy it. can’t believe it’s student made.

Melanie and her son Diego painted a skateboard deck for one store’s gallery. Well done.

I know, this mama edition isn’t that interesting. Well, mama’s been super busy.

At least I’ve caught up with the past month and a half. I left  a lot out, but in general, we’ve been working hard, playing some, and enjoying life a lot.

There’s not much we could ask for.

]]> http://courtsbrogno.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/mamas-edition/feed/ 0 courtsbrogno coffee and grading coffee and grading jenny coffee and grading 3 jade festival 0 jade fesitval.5 jade festival 1 jade festival 2 jade festival 3 jade festival 4 erin's bday1 erin's bday 2 mother hips 1 mother hips 1.5 mother hips 2 mother hips 3 mother hips 4 art after dark 1 art after dark 2 art after dark 3 http://courtsbrogno.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/the-kids-edition/ http://courtsbrogno.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/the-kids-edition/#comments Sun, 13 Nov 2011 19:29:58 +0000 courtsbrogno http://courtsbrogno.wordpress.com/?p=2648 ]]> In the past month or so, the kids and I have been on a hurling course through the universe of homework, school, babysitters, after school activities, sport practices, team games, slumber parties.

And that’s just basically Maddie.

At this point, I’m just trying to keep up with Luke and Maddie’s schedule. I always tell myself, “Just stay a day ahead and you’ll be alright.” This works about 80% of the time. The other 20%, I run out of time to make a healthy dinner so I order pizza, I forget to print something out for Maddie so I have to make a late-night run to my office, I forget to send Maddie to school with money for something so I have to leave work for a minute to drop it off, and I forget to pay Luke’s daycare provider (even though I DO have the money) until she has to call me at least 3 times.

I also: forget to return that important paperwork to Human Resources, forget to pay rent (just remembered today!), lose some student’s essay (I’m convinced it’s in my car somewhere), go to the wrong restaurant to meet a friend and then wonder why he’s not showing up, almost run out of gas because I didn’t have the time to stop and refill my tank, ignore Halloween and not put up one decoration, and run out of milk, juice, bread, eggs, and wine!

The list could go on and on. I don’t think that I’m a failure though. I just know that I’m really busy. And the kids are busy. And life is just a bit crazy right now. But in between these moments of chaos, we’ve had some incredibly fun times.

:::::

Like attending Natalie’s 5th birthday party and getting  to see my best friend Denise (Natalie’s mom) and her family.

Happy birthday Natalie!

The party’s theme was dress up, and Luke was pretty much the only boy there, so the girls put make up on him and dressed him up. He LOVED it.

Luke really knows how to rock a pink, glittery scarf.

Seriously, every girl took off her dress up clothes, but Luke wouldn’t take his off.

Maddie got to see her best friend Jailyn (Denise’s daughter as well), so for her, the birthday party was fun also.

:::::

Then there was Halloween, and I ordered the kids costumes just in time. I like to make sure the kids are themed, and so Maddie picked a Sesame Street theme: she went as Big Bird and Luke went as Cookie Monster. It wasn’t nearly as inventive as last year’s costumes (when Luke was a gnome and Maddie a pink flamingo, so together they were my lawn ornaments), but they still looked cute:

The only problem was that it was about 85 degrees outside, so Luke only wore his costume for about 5 minutes.

:::::

On Halloween, Maddie had her first ever school dance (during the day). I decided to stop by on my way to work and take pictures, but after 5 minutes, the literature teacher approached me and kicked me out, saying “Parents are NOT allowed.” Like I knew this (side note: had I read the weekly announcements, I guess I would have known this.). At least I still got some good pictures. And observed that Maddie was NOT bumping and grinding with some 8th grade boy (I’d kill him. And her.)

:::::

Luke was with his father on Halloween night and Maddie and a bunch of friends went trick-or-treating by themselves, so I had 2 whole hours to grade at a very quiet coffee shop. Did I miss watching the girls trek from house to house? Hell no.

But lest you think I am a bad parent, I made up for it later in the evening because after trick-or-treating, Maddie and four of her friends came back to our house for a sleep-over. Between the sugar high induced tween excitement and chatter, I sat on the couch with a glass of wine and read the New York Times. It’s amazing how adept I am at tuning things out (i.e. tween chatter).  Everyone had fun. Everyone was happy.

:::::

Maddie’s school had its annual blessing of the animals, so we dragged ourselves to school at 8a.m. with our dog, Baily, in tow. This may not seem like a difficult task, but getting all of us dressed and presentable and fed with a dog that had to look good too was quite the feat.

I asked the priest to sprinkle Luke with some holy water too. Lord knows he could use a few extra blessings.

Amidst the dogs, cats, turtles, fish, and birds, someone brought in his pet cow. How awesome is that family?

:::::

We drove out to a coastal town to celebrate Maddie’s old babysitter Amy’s birthday. Amy babysat Maddie from the time she was 6 months old to 7 years old. She was the best. I often referred to her as my husband. Being able to celebrate with her made my heart sing.

God do I just love this woman!

This is what makes Amy so great: in the middle of her own birthday party, she spend almost an hour with Luke digging in the dirt until she found a bug (a walking stick no less!) for Luke to play with.

Maddie brought her best friend Jailyn to the party and they had a great time running around the yard with Luke and the dogs.

:::::

I don’t work on Fridays (as in, I don’t have to teach and instead just get to stay home and grade, so technically, I guess I do work on Fridays), and Luke and I always have a Friday date. He gets to choose what we do and where we go. Almost every Friday, he chooses to go to the barn so he can feed the animals. We always end our date with a sandwich and ice-cream.

Sometimes, though, Luke just wants to lay in bed and watch a movie, and I happily oblige.

Other times, he just wants to sit and play with me for hours, drawing and building blocks.

(Luke’s drawing and interpretation of me. A friend said it looked like “Family Circus,” and those are just my footprints from running around. If this is the case then Luke is more astute than I believed him to be.

:::::

We’ve still been trying to squeeze in family dinners because nothing makes me happier than bringing friends together with my kids to share a meal.

I think my favorite dinner guest may be Andy because he plays so much with Luke, distracting him as I finish dinner. He’s a great uncle!

:::::

So despite all the chaos and the forgotten dinners and missed appointments, we’re hanging in their, perhaps even prospering as being a family on the go. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and I look to my kids to see if there is disappointment in their faces. Usually there’s not. Instead I see smiles and love, which makes me appreciate our lives, in all its craziness.

For years I’ve been thinking about having part of my favorite Rilke poem, Sonnets to Orpheus, II tattooed on my body:

And if the earthly no longer knows your name,
whisper to the silent earth: I’m flowing.
To the flashing water say: I am.

But all three lines couldn’t be tattooed onto my body, so I narrowed it down to the last two lines, and then I thought for about a year. One night, this summer, I ran into my friend, Gary, an excellent tattoo artist who has tattooed me before. We started talking and I told him about my idea. We were both a little boozy and by the end of the night, I had made an appointment with him for the following week. The next morning I awoke with a head ache and a vague memory of our conversation. I pulled out of my pocket Gary’s appointment card, and mortified, I called him and canceled.

The poem was once again stored in the back of my mind until I tired of it constantly swirling around my thoughts, interrupting me as I went about my day. I called Gary. Made an appointment. Sent him the poem. Received his idea. Liked it. I headed back to the tattoo chair.

The biggest decision was where to put the tattoo on my body. I knew I didn’t want it to be in a noticeable part, and at first, I had thought of putting it on my back, but it didn’t look right on my back. I asked Gary what he thought about putting it along my rib cage. “It’ll hurt,” he said. “It hurts regardless,” I responded. Gary laid the imprint on my side, and we all looked at it. I loved it. He loved it. The other tattoo guy loved it.

Thus, I got my first tattoo in 5 years.

Looks good, don’t you think?

While my side was being tattooed, Gary mentioned how much he hates my ankle tattoo. This is not a surprise; he’s hated it since he first saw it over a decade ago. I hate it too. It was a stupid tattoo I got when I was 18, and I think the day I turned 19, I started regretting it. I’ve been talking about removing it for about 15 years now, but I haven’t. And every time I put on a skirt or dress and see that stupid tattoo, I cringe.

Gary doesn’t believe in tattoo removals, but he does believe in covering up ugly tattoos, and he has covered up a stomach tattoo I had that looked pretty bad after having Maddie (looks much better now, though Gary says I’m ready for a touch up). As we talked about my stupid ankle tattoo, Gary took out an orange marker and started drawing on my ankle, showing me what he had in mind for a cover. I walked around with the drawing for a few days until I decided to just do it. As Gary said, “If you’re going to have a tattoo on your ankle, then make it a pretty one.”

Gary’s initial drawing.

Let’s do this Gary.

The outlining is finished.

Finished:

It’s a beautiful tattoo and much better than my terrible original. But it’s taken me awhile to get used to. It seems so big and every time I look at my ankle, I’m caught off guard by this big, colorful tattoo.

Despite any misgivings I may have about this new tattoo, however, there’s nothing I can do about it now. This actually gives me comfort.

That’s it. No more tattoos. No more ideas mulling in my head.

For now.