The decision to start this blog, to take a year of writing something every day–EVERY DAY–is a big commitment. I’m a busy person. I work, I parent, I volunteer, I cook, I clean, I entertain. Usually, I go to bed each night exhausted. Why am I doing this? I’ve asked myself that question at least 15 times just today. I don’t have the time, I’m not creative enough, I’m not thankful enough.
That’s the reason why. I’m not thankful enough. I’ve spent the past 3 years hiding from life. Granted, I’ve been busy and I’ve had a full life. But my life has not been fulfilling. Nor exciting. Nor interesting. And I’ve made my life that way. I’ve been in a funk, and it’s time to get out.
The best way to accomplish this? For me, it’s appreciating all the good things I already do have and to notice all the good that occurs around me on a daily basis. Perhaps by committing myself to this endeavor, I will end this year refreshed and a better person. Perhaps not. I’m willing to try. I like a challenge. And while I am, of course, incredibly grateful for my family, my children, my job, and my friends, I am not aware–on a daily basis–of how lucky I’ve been.
I’ve never been close to death (well, except for the time an MRI showed “gray matter” on my brain and for a brief second a neurologist thought I had MS, when in fact, it was later determined that this “gray matter” was left over trauma from birth, though I clearly don’t remember that and then the time, a few years back, when I went to the bathroom and thought I had serious internal bleeding, in which I almost passed out from fear to call the doctor only to remember that I had eaten a whole bowl of beets the night before. Neither of these stories even really qualify for being close to death, now that I think about it.). And I’ve never had anything traumatic happen either. In fact, I’ve lived a relatively easy and simple life. Though this doesn’t mean that life is always shiny and rosy, but I believe, with a little bit of effort and by paying more close attention to the details, it can be.
Life can be anything I want it to be. And for this year, I want it to be a time of thanks. A year of thanks. From the big and obvious things to the little and seemingly insignificant matters, I will record every day, something–perhaps even more than one thing–that I am thankful for.
Today is my 34th birthday, and I am so thankful to be alive and healthy, and for my two beautiful children. I am thankful, already, for writing this blog. As my sister would say, “Oprah would be proud” (but just so you know, I don’t really watch Oprah).