This is the very first time I’ve posted my blog after midnight and its only because I’ve had such an amazing night with my friends liza and chad. I’m so thankful for them.
I’m also thankful I made the decision to agree and arrange a visit with matts (lukes father) family today. We met at the oregon zoo and had a really nice time.
More to come later when I’m back on my computer….
So a few weeks ago, Matt (Luke’s father) asked if his family could see Luke while I was in the Pacific Northwest. This is the area that Matt is from and is also where his entire family still resides. Luke’s still too young to travel with Matt to visit his family and it’s difficult for his family to come down to see us, so I guess this is why Matt asked.
And, to be honest, my initial reaction was , “Hell NO. This is my vacation with MY kids.” Part of the reason my reaction was so immediately negative is because Matt’s family have not made any attempt to be nice, respectful, or courteous to me. I have never received a card, an email, a text, phone call, or other kind of communication since I’ve had Luke. That’s right, not even a congratulations card when I birthed their grandson, nephew, cousin. I have seen some of Matt’s relatives here, in town, and they have been cordial, of course, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say friendly.
O.K. I take part of that back. Matt’s father’s wife, Linda, has always been super nice to me and Maddie and, of course, Luke. And Matt’s father has also been really nice to me, though I believe that to be an extension of Linda. Linda buys gifts for Maddie and Luke, she comes to my house to see Luke and hangs out talking about farm life and it was Matt’s dad who encouraged me getting chickens, and Linda does send cards. This kindness stems, I believe, because Linda is a total outsider in Matt’s family. Because Matt’s dad and mom divorced and Matt’s dad married Linda, Matt and his siblings have not seemed to accept Linda yet. Which, by the way, they’ve been together for over 20 years now. As a matter fact, Matt’s dad and I discussed this today and he was so wise (He brought it up too. I think he was trying to impart a lesson).
Anyway, I didn’t want to hang out with Matt’s family members. But after a few hours, I started to soften, and a few days later, I emailed Matt that I’d love to see his family and to have them call me or email me.
Which they finally did. Thursday. When we were in Astoria and already had our whole trip planned. So when i got the email from Matt’s sister asking if she could see Luke, I wanted to reply: “Ummm….no. You’ve had 3 weeks to contact me and you didn’t until now. And now we have all our time planned. And now it is just too late. Bummer for you!”
But I didn’t. Instead, I suggested she come to Astoria on Saturday because we were totally free that day. But Astoria was a little too far and she asked if I had any free time while in Portland. My Portland days were filled, but I tweaked our schedule and some time with friends, and since I was already planning on taking the kids to the Oregon Zoo, I invited Matt’s sister to meet us there.
Which she did as did Matt’s dad and Linda. I was so nervous. I thought for sure something inappropriate or rude would be said by them about me.
But that didn’t happen. We all have a nice day and they were so happy to see Luke that I’m really thankful I made time in my schedule to see them as well as let go of any past feelings. And Maddie ans Luke had the best time. Luke, especially, who was in absolute awe of every animal–big or small.
It was the right thing to do. I’m thankful I made a good decision.
After the zoo, Maddie, Luke, and I went to the Rose garden, which was just beautiful.
Then we went to Chad and Liza’s house for dinner and to stay the night. To say I had a good time would be a total understatement. I met Chad and Liza about 5 years ago, right after they had been married, when they had just moved to the town I live in.
They are my favorite couple. I LOVE them. They have the sweetest, kindest, most loving relationship of anyone I know. I honestly seethe with envy–their relationship is what fairy tales are made of. It’s everything I dream of for my own life.
Chad and Liza are also my super-Christian friends (like they should wear God-capes), and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way at all. They were the first Christians I really got to know that weren’t judgmental, overly preachy, into that ‘health and wealth’ Christianity, and super accepting.
They are just rock solid and have been there for me, never judging, on numerous occasions. And sitting with them at dinner and then putting the kids to bed while we drank wine and just talked about religion and faith and chickens and dogs, and Portland, and a million things in between was awesome and made me miss them so much. It’s what I miss most in my life right now–long nights eating and conversing with friends.
But I’m thankful that I got a night to catch up and remind me of what great nights with friends are like.