Today was Luke’s first day of preschool. I dropped him off and cried all the way to work.
I was just so sad. I hate that I have to put him in a preschool/daycare. Maddie had a home babysitter until she entered preschool at 3 1/2. And I firmly believe that kids shouldn’t be in school earlier than that. Sure, if your kid doesn’t get any socialization, then fine, I get it. But let’s face it: kids are in school from 3 1/2 to 18 and longer if they choose to go to college. Must we start them a year earlier??? (And I’m sure there are tons of mothers who disagree with me, but I’m not trying to change their views. I’m just stating my views for my kids.)
Anyway, Luke has been, thus far, cared for by my sister and a few babysitters since he’s been born and I’ve been working. But last year was just a total disaster when it came to sitters. After almost a decade of having the most dependable, awesome, amazing babysitters anyone could ever ask for, I got a year of the WORST babysitters. Not bad as in they didn’t take care of Luke, but bad in that they forgot to show up, were often late, and just didn’t give Luke the attention that he either received from my sister or his last, great babysitter.
My sister will still watch Luke 3 days a week while I’m at school (which I LOVE cause she gives him the most love and he gets to play with his cousins), and he’ll be in preschool just two days a week, so it’s really not that bad.
Still, it kills me. I hate leaving him with a bunch of other kids that I don’t know, with teachers that don’t know me and how we do things in our family, and without someone he loves and trusts (like my sister or our last, great babysitter who was pretty much like family) to hold him when he falls or cuddle him when he misses me.
But it had to be done. I had no other choice. And the preschool he’s at is really cute, and I like the director, and the teachers seems nice, and the other kids all seemed kind.
Still, it killed me to leave him. Which is why I had to leave super quick because tears were starting to spring to my eyes and I didn’t want him to see me cry. Which is why I had the most difficult time concentrating while teaching today. Which is why I checked my phone about 100 times in the 4 short hours I was gone to see if anyone from the school had called me with some terrible emergency.
fortunately, nothing bad happened. When I picked Luke up, he was fine. He seemed happy. The teachers said that yes, he did cry at times, and yes, he had a hard time napping, but they also assured me that he’d get better every day and that he seemed to enjoy himself.
I’m thankful Luke had a good day and seemed to have fun. I’m thankful I didn’t lose it in the middle of my class, breaking down in tears and screaming, “I miss my baby!!!”
I’m serious, by the way.