I’m a pretty low maintenance friend. This is both good and bad.
It’s good because even if I don’t see you for a few years, I’ll be happy to pick up where we left off, as if no time has passed. I don’t think I’m needy. I don’t call all the time with my problems. I won’t ask for advice every week. If you’re my friend, I will love, honor, and respect you and our friendship.You can sleep on my couch, eat my food, wear my clothes, and (gasp) even borrow my books anytime. Hell, I’ll make you a key to my house: drop by anytime, even if I’m not there. I swear show up on my door step and I’ll give you my world.
But, I also won’t return your phone calls very often (and as a matter of fact, I hate the phone, so we probably won’t talk often at all); I probably won’t make it to most of your events; I may forget your kids birthdays (and sometimes even yours); I may get back to that facebook message you left me but only after three weeks have gone by; and all in all, I’m pretty busy and so I get kind of wrapped up in my own life and am not a good friend at all.
It makes perfect sense that I seek out and retain friends who are a lot like me: low maintenance and okay with dropping in every so often while still loving the shit out of our friendship and each other.
So I think I’ve made some new friends. I met Denise and her husband Todd a few weeks ago at a kid’s party, and I just really liked them both and I had that feeling of I want to be your friend. They seemed super chill and down to earth, but the real test was tonight when I had them over for dinner. And I’m happy to say that I think we will be good friends. Low maintenance friends. Friends who I’d love to cook for and hang out with. Friends who don’t judge and are just comfortable to be around. I’m pretty thankful that I’ve made some new friends.
On the other side of the spectrum is my friend Jenn, who also came by tonight. We shared a bottle of wine, cried a little, and laughed a lot. Jenn’s the friend that is super low maintenance but also calls me when she’s in town and keeps our friendship connected. She’s the joiner–the one who brings everyone together. She’s also the healer–giving and giving when needed. And she’s smart and funny and she doesn’t mind if I don’t call or keep in touch all the time. I am so thankful for her. She’s truly an amazing old friend and I’m truly grateful she’s my friend.
It’s friends like these that make my laugh lines deepen and my heart break wide open.