A Year of Thanks

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the ways in which i make my daughter thoroughly unhappy November 21, 2011

Filed under: kids — courtsbrogno @ 2:01 pm

My daughter, my beautiful, loving, precious only daughter has changed from my best friend, the love of my life (and hers), my do anything and have fun gal, my side-kick for almost all past adventures to a sourly, pout-y, moody, don’t want anything to do with you mom because you make my life miserable tweener.

Oh the tween years (and really in a few months she’ll be an official teenager). I know I went through them. I know I was moody and an emotional wreck. I know surges of hormones took over every sane and rational part of my being.

But mostly all of my tween-angst was because my mom was so not cool.

And I am cool.

My mom didn’t take me to hip concerts as a child. My mom didn’t take me to museums or plays or art exhibits or anything that might have cultivated a sense of appreciation of the arts. I mean, sure I have it now but that’s only because I had to learn it on my own…and if there’s one thing I don’t want Maddie to do it’s to have to struggle to find out what’s hip and cool on her own like I did.

I knew from the day she came out of my precious womb, that I would gently guide her to liking everything I did. And as I looked at her sweet sleeping baby face, I knew–I mean I knew–that I wouldn’t even have to guide her: that she’d willingly want to like everything I liked.

Because, you know, I’m hip.

And cool.

But somewhere in the past year, my precious sweet daughter has gone from loving every concert, museum, art exhibit, author reading to absolutely despising whatever event we are at.

Last week, I took her to see some live music. And it was three all girl punk bands who were interesting and funny and quirky.

This is what she looked like throughout the show:

And I said, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you enjoying this? I’m letting you stay up late to see this. Listen to their lyrics: how empowering are they?”

To which she just rolled her eyes, turned away, and slumped in her chair.

(Notice the head slump action)

“Maddie. This is cool. You should be enjoying yourself. You’ve seen tons of live music and you’ve always loved it.”

“Well, I don’t love it now. I want to go home and go to bed,” she replied.

So we went home.

A few days later, I took her on another date: to a poetry reading.

This is what she looked like throughout the show:

“Maddie. Why are you pouting. This is art. Right now you’re cultivating your inner-self. You’re learning how to appreciate art.”

“Can I play a game on my ipod?”

“No. Pay attention. What other parent is doing this with their kids right now. Look around. Do you see any other kids here? No. How cool are you?”

“That’s my point, mom,” and the eyes roll.

“But that just makes you cooler. Plus, we’re seeing Leslie and another colleague of mine, Lisa.”

“Aren’t they amazing Maddie? The strength of their words?”

“Um, I guess. Can we go home now?”

“Please take a picture with me so I can blog about how much fun we’re having…”

“Fine mom, I can fake it.”

Then we went home.

And I sat Maddie down and told her how much I love her and how much I love spending time with her and how when she was little (up until even a year ago) how much she enjoyed doing things with me, how she was always up for an adventure.

And I explained that I didn’t have a fun mom and that I understand how her hormones are coursing through her body and that she can’t help to be moody, but really, I asked, “Can you just try to enjoy your time with me cause, you know, the things we do are so cool. You are so lucky to have such.a.cool.mom.”

Eyes roll. Head slump.

“Mom! That’s what you’re NOT understanding. You are not cool. At all. Nothing you do is cool.”

Um. What the fuck?

I’m sure that’s just the hormones talking.

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5 Responses to “the ways in which i make my daughter thoroughly unhappy”

  1. GEW Says:

    She needs to come hang out at my house. I never go anywhere. We hang out at home. We do a little work. We read a little. We watch a TV show or two. The wildest thing I’ve been doing lately is knitting a baby blanket. On the way home from Michael’s and Trader Joe’s today, we listened to Taylor Swift. If she wants to see COOL, send her here.

  2. Denise Says:

    How the hell do they not think we are cool??? I get that to, “Mom I can’t believe you just said that.” Eye roll, stomping away. We ARE the cool Mom’s I don’t care what those tweeners have to say, they don’t know anything at all. She will appreciate it someday very soon, I promise.

  3. Denise Says:

    PS. I love Maddie!!!!!!!!!!!! She is pretty cool. But don’t tell her I said that.

  4. tasha Says:

    Come on you guys I can remember not wanting to be seen in public because my mom wasn’t cool! And if you know my mom you know she is / was sooo amazing and cool. Give Maddie a few years and she will realize that she was blessed with a cool amazing mother.

  5. nat Says:

    NO child that age thinks their mum is cool!! Don’t take it personally! Your mum probably thought she was cool in her own way too!


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