I realize I’ve spent most of my adult life wondering why I am still single, why I can’t seem to have a healthy relationship and working very hard to get my shit together, aka getting a good therapist to help me work out my issues.
And all this work has been immensely helpful. I am such a better version of myself. Yes, I still have work to do, but don’t we all? The question still persists in my mind though: why am I still single.
I think I’ve found the answer.
You see, a few weeks ago I was talking with a friend and she commented on how pretty my ring was. I told her that my Aunt Linda gave gave it to me, that actually she took her wedding ring and used the diamonds to make herself, my sister, and I all the same, matching ring. I’ve been wearing it everyday since I received it.
“Did you smudge it first?” she asked.
I had no idea what she was talking about.
She then explained that gems, in particular, carry the energy from their past owner and that before they’re re-worn they need to to be smudged in a lengthy (though I guess you can find out how to do this on youtube) ceremony involving sage, usually white sage.
Whatever, I thought, I don’t believe in such mystic shit.
Then the other night I was at my mom’s house for dinner with my dad and Aunt Judy, who is visiting from New Jersey. My aunt asked if she could give Maddie some diamond earrings. I thought about it and said it was fine as I had received my first pair of diamond earrings from my great-grandma when I turned 12, which I still have and still wear. My mom then asked if I still had my other great grandma’s ring–a ring my mom had made for me a my sister (again, matching) from an old diamond ring of my great-grandmother’s years ago. I explained that while I did wear that ring religiously for years, I put it away when I received the ring from my Aunt Linda.
Then, remembering the conversation with my friend, I broached the subject of bad juju in gems.
To which my mother and aunt both looked at me horrified and said, “you’ve never had them blessed by a priest? But you must! Gems carry energy!”
Well, if I haven’t smudged my rings then I definitely haven’t had them blessed by a priest. I also thought, Am I the only one who’s never heard of this?
Slowly, my mind started thinking of the rings and earrings I’ve inherited. My Aunt Linda’s ring came from a wedding that ended in a bad divorce. My great-grandmother’s diamond earrings she wore–and she was married like 3 times. The ring from my other great-grandmother, I actually have no idea if she wore a lot, but both her husbands died. She had been, sadly, unlucky in love.
I actually started to panic a little and realized: Maybe it’s not me. Maybe it’s bad juju. And my mom’s side of the family has fucked me!
So my dad, ever the pragmatic, said, “Here. Let’s try this. Give me your ring for a month and see if your luck changes. The you’ll know.”
So I took off my ring and told my dad to keep it somewhere safe, but my mom and Aunt Judy banished it to the garage–just in case.
I mentioned how naked my finger felt. I’ve had a family ring on that finger for decades.
Aunt Judy excused herself and came back with a ring for me. She said, “This was Nana Ann’s ring (my grandma on my dad’s side) and she had a great marriage. There’s no bad juju in this ring.”
It’s a beautiful ring, and I’ve been wearing it since Sunday now:
But I might scrub it nonetheless or at least drop it in some holy water at the mission. Nana Ann might have had a great marriage, but who knows what secrets she held.
This seems crazy I know, but I’ll let you know what happens in a month. I mean, it really can’t hurt.