A few disclaimers first:
1. I’ve never had a lesbian experience. Shocking, I know. It seems like almost every woman I know my age has, but I missed the whole give-it-your-best college try, and I don’t think lesbians are attracted to me since I’ve never been hit on. And even if I was, I’m just not into girls. I really like men. Men with beards. Not that I’m against lesbians–I have a lot of lesbian friends and I respect their choices. But, yeah, I haven’t had any interest in trying that path.
2. I’ve been to a lot of live shows and I’ve met quite a few musicians, and I’ve ALWAYS kept my cool around them. I realize they’re just people, like me, with a different job and a lot more fans. So I treat any musician I meet just like I’d treat any other person. I don’t ask to take a picture with them, and usually we end up talking about regular stuff, like our kids. And if I meet a musician that I’m a big fan of, I stay cool. I wait until I’m at home to squeal with delight and then wish I had taken a picture.
But both these disclaimers went out the window when I recently saw Sarah Jaffe live. I’d been turned on to her music about a year ago, and back in December, when I went to San Francisco to see Andrew Bird, I’d gotten tickets to see Midlake perform the night before, but mostly I was excited to see Sarah Jaffe as the opening act. Unfortunately, we got to the show 1/2 an hour late (which normally is no big deal) and we missed Sarah Jaffe’s performance. I was so bummed.
So, our little town has been getting quite a few big(ger) acts coming through. It makes perfect sense: we’re directly a half-way point between San Francisco and Los Angeles, so it’s no big deal for musicians/bands to stop, stay the night, and play. Plus, the venue–SLO Brewing Company–has been killing it in regards to their booking person. Needless to say, I’ve been pretty excited. I love being able to walk down to the venue, see a show, and then walk home. No driving!
Thus, a few weeks ago, the Polyphonic Spree was playing and though they’re not a favorite band of mine, they’re pretty good, and I thought it would be a fun show. I bought tickets for myself and Maddie and Maddie invited some friends, so we all went together.
We all got there around 8:30, which I knew was a bit early, but the girls wanted to be on time. As we we’re walking up, I noticed a sign that announced who the opening band was. To my complete surprise and delight, it was Sarah Jaffe. It became apparent as I spoke to a few friends I saw that other people knew about this, but I had no idea. I was giddy. Seriously, giddy.
Because Sarah Jaffe is just that good.
And while the Polyphonic Spree was good (21 people on a small stage–that’s amazing) and Maddie had fun:
I was most impressed by Sarah Jaffe. She was just as good live as on her records.
And I freaked out. I went up to her after the show, gushing about how much I liked her. She honestly looked tired and I could tell she didn’t want to really talk to me, but I couldn’t stop. I kept talking, telling her how I missed her in San Francisco, posing for a picture with her:
And then I honestly said (and it really just slipped out because I can’t imagine that I was in any rational mind set and also for the record, I wasn’t drunk) AS I WAS HUGGING HER, “I’d turn lesbian for you. That’s how much I like you.” Ummmm….that is the perfect way to freak someone out. Which I did.
I’m pretty sure any possible love affair with Sarah Jaffe ended that night. But I’ll always have the humiliating memories.